This week, more on Holly R. about planning a wedding in a small town. Some people who live in larger areas think it's hard becasue they have so many choices, think about it if the opposite were true!
One of the first steps in planning a wedding is picking the wedding date. After my fiance and I got engaged, we put a lot of thought into choosing a date that is special to us. With so many guests from out of town, and after having to travel to a ton of weddings these past few years, we thought it was important to choose a date that would accomodate the majority of our guests. The date we decided on was Sept. 5, 2009, which falls on Labor Day weekend next year. Being a 3-day weekend, we thought that this date would be convenient for our guests because they would have an extra day after the wedding to relax before they had to travel back home. We always hate waking up the day after a fun wedding and having to drive the 5, 6, or 7 hour trip back home from Michigan. It makes for a long Sunday. Having our wedding on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend would allow people to stay an extra day and let them enjoy the gorgeous scenery that the Upper Peninsula of Michigan has to offer.
As soon as we had chosen our date, we went to work on booking things. Getting married in a small town is difficult and easy at the same time, because there isn't much to choose from in terms of vendors. I knew I wanted to get married in the same church that I had grown up attending, so the first order of business was booking the church. Sounds simple, but Catholic churches (at least this one) won't guarantee your date until you complete the requirements for marriage. My mother called the church to get the process started, and they penciled in our date with the caveat that it would not be set in stone until we completed our compatibility test, met with the priest, etc.
Next on the list was reception sites. Again, there were very few places to choose from. We set up an appointment at the ballroom a few towns away and the country club that my fiance's parents are members of. We would not be traveling to Michigan for a few more weeks, so they penciled in the date for us and told us if anyone else called regarding that date, they would call us.
A few weeks later, I got a call from my mother saying that another girl who recently got engaged had put a deposit down at the country club that had penciled us in. And she happened to be reserving it for the same date as our wedding! And we had not received any sort of heads up from the country club! Of course, I was in a panic, because there are seriously only like two options for receptions in the town we're getting married in. And the country club was the only one that didn't require a lot of work in terms of decorations. Then my mom told me that she had seen the other bride's mom at a school event and the woman had asked her where we were having our ceremony. My mom told her we were getting married at our church and her mom said that the girl was converting to Catholic and they were going to get married in a Catholic church as well. The next day, I get a call from the priest of our church saying that someone else was looking to get married on the same day as us. I was in a panic again because as the church had made clear to me, our date was not set in stone yet. But to my surprise, the priest said he wanted to make sure I was positive about our wedding date, and if I was, he would tell the other person that the church was already booked. I was shocked that this girl's mother had called my church to see if they could get the church on that day, even after she knew we were getting married there. And I was grateful that our priest respected the fact that the church was our main priority, and we had made the call to him as soon as we had picked our date.
For the rest of the day, I questioned whether or not we should switch the date. There is only one hair salon, one florist, one DJ, one of everything in our town. Did I really want to compete with another bride for every vendor? I am not a huge fan of competition. I wanted to spend time negotiating prices, etc. before I went and booked all of these vendors. If we kept the Sept. 5th date, I would have to book everything as soon as possible just so I would have them all covered. Plus, I felt guilty that this girl would not get the church she wanted to get married in if we kept the date. I went home and talked with my fiance, and he told me that we should stick with our original plan. Would this girl change the date for us? Definitely not, and we wouldn't expect her to. So why should we feel obligated to change our date? We put a lot of thought into the date we chose. In the end, we decided to stick with the original date, although I still felt bad that this girl wouldn't get the church she wanted.
A few weeks ago we saw this girl at the wedding of a mutual friend. My fiance went up to her to say congratulations, and her mom came up to him and said "Why couldn't you just change the date?". Of course being the gentleman that he is, he just laughed and walked away. When he told me about it, I couldn't believe that this lady had the audacity to say something like that to him. How can you feel so entitled that you think everyone around you should change their plans for you? We are getting married too. It is our day too. And a long time coming. We have been together for seven years, it is about time we get married! The moral of the story, when it comes to weddings, do what you think is right for you, the person you love, and the loved ones that surround you. Don't worry about satisfying the rest of the world. Don't change your date just because someone else wants to get married on the same day as you. They would never do it for you. Another moral of the story, everyone getting married has priorities. Figure out what's most important to you, whether it be the church, the caterer, the music. Then book those vendors immediately so you don't have to worry about losing them. Once you have the things that matter to you in place, the rest of the wedding will come together easily!
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