Parent Trap - Bonus Question

One more question came in about parents decking one another durning family picture time, you don't need to be afraid. Although you might be the first wedding that a step parent has decked another durning photographs... it hasn't happened to me yet.

But don't worry, you don't have to round everyone up for the "one big happy family" photograph if your parents dont' get along, or if you are not particularly fond of a stepparent. But you should meet with your photographer ahead of timeto discuss the types of photos you want and which members of your family should be included, and which should remain 10 feet away at all times.

A professional photographer is sure to have dealt with divorced family situations and can probably offer some expert advice on how to handle potential problems.

As for that sticky question - "Does my obnoxiouis stepparent have to be in your photo's? - the answer is probably what you've known all along - yes.

Leaving a stepmother you dislike out of your wedding photo's, for example is bound to hurt her feelings- and your dad's too! And it can affect your relationship with them in the future.

So, put on your big girl pants, and have some photographs taken with you and your fiance with yoru father and stepmother. Your dad will have a keepsake, and both of them will appreciate your generosity.

Parent Trap - Final Installment

It's sad that we are dealing with so many divorced families - but it's just lovely that everyone can put on a happy face for their daughter or son's wedding. Regardless of the happy face, we do our best to make sure everyone is comfortable.

That is where the issue of seating comes into play.

Cheap Seats

Problem:: "My parents don't get along at all. I can't imagine seating them anywhere near each other durning the ceremony. What should I do?"

Solution:: At a typical wedding, the first few rows of seats are reserved for close family members, with parents in teh front row, grandparents and siblings in the second row, and so on. If the relationship between your parents is that tense, tradition wedding etuquette states that the parent to whom you feel the closest - let's say it's your mom- would sit in the front row, while your dad would sit in the thrid or fourth row (with your stepmother, if he has remarried).

Parent Trap III

We know that dealing with divorced family members is a big stressor, and adds to the "making everyone happy" role. We are trying to help you keep the peace, and give you a handy trouble shooting guide.

Walk the Line

Problem:: "My Stepfather feels more like a "father" to me than my real dad, and I'dlike him to walk me down the aisle. Is there a way to do this without hurting my dad?"

Solution:: This is definately a toughy! First, whatever you are going to do, tell your dad{s} in advance, we had one bride wait until the rehearsal to deal with the situation and that was hurtful on all accounts. But to avoid hurting your dad's feelings, consider these other possiblilites: If your "fathers" get along well, perhaps they can both walk you down the aisle, one on each arm. If there's friction between the two, your stepfather can walk you halfway down, and your dad, who can then escort you the rest of the way to your groom, or vise versa.

Then the question remains, who gives this woman....? You can always have them say together in unison, "We Do" or "Her Families and I"... but that's up to you.

The Parent Trap II

Gosh, I didn't realize that so many more questions regarding dealing with divorced parents would come in... so this might go on for a few more days. We've been flooded with questions, and we'd love to help, so keep them coming!

Today we'll talk about receiving lines.

Problem:: "Both of my fiance's parents and my parents have divorced and then have remarried - there are just so many people to keep track up it will make you dizzy! Help me with who stands in the receiving line to greet guests?"

Solution:: Well, first, you don't have to do a receiving line, it does take up a bit of time, and as long as you calculate that into your timeline, and know that this will take away from photography time with your new husband and families, then you'll be good to go. But if everyone wants to participate, here's a sample lineup:

• Bride's Mother
• Bride's Stepfather
• Groom's Stepfather
• Groom's Mother
• Bride
• Groom
• Bride's
• Bride's Stepmother
• Bride's Father
• Groom's Father
• Groom's Stepmother

Phew! Is that too long for you? It's okay to simply include your biological parents, or to forgot the tradition all together. Many couples perfer to visit each guest at their table and make some schedule mingle time after they are done eating to make the rounds and welcome their friends and families. Its' a much more intimate and informal way to thank all of your friends and family for attending.

The Parent Trap

Recently we've received many questions in regards to dealing with divorced parents, as if wedding planning and etiquette weren't tricky enough, right!

I know that you have some dilemmas, and I want to help you with your questions. Over the next few days I'll take your heated problems that seem to be causing you quite the drama, and give you some clever solutions to the sticky issues that you are facing.

Let's figure out how to handle things before the wedding, and discuss your decisions with your parents. We know every family's dynamics are different, so feel free to improvise and let us be your sounding board, comment away with suggestions as well!

Dancing Do's and Don'ts

Problem:: "My fiance wants to have a mother/son dance. Am I expected to have a father/daughter dance? Can I dance with my mom instead, since I am not on the best terms with my father since his divorce?"

Solution:: You're under no obligation to do a traditional father/daughter dance. Instead, you may want to consider including both your parents, or having a dance with all of the members of both families to take the edge off. You could have separate dances and songs for each of them in you wanted. Or (my favorite option) choose one tune for a "parent(s) dance" and start out with Dear Ole' Dad, and then half way through switch to your mom, or step dad... mix it up a bit.

Image: K-Gallery