So call me OCD, call me what you will. But when I am invited to someone's house for a dinner party, I attack the dining room table in a very indiscreet way - slowly and methodically placing the sliverware where it is supposed to be. And moving the glasses and bread plates to their proper position. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't do it, but I just want things done properly.
My husband thinks it's ridiculous. But I just have a thing for the proper placement of flatware and china.
I personally feel people just don't know, they were never educated in what breadplate to use or let alone where it was supposed to be. In Blueprint magazine recently they had a layout as to where things go.
And please for the love of all that is holy - don't put the napkin in a glass, it might look pretty. But it leaves lint behind, and the last thing you want in your wine is lint.