Sunday, November 4, 2007

What Happens after the Honeymoon?

Hi everyone! I'm so glad my friend Melissa invited me to guest blog with her today! My name is Rhonda and I have my own wedding blog over at Our Wedding Plus.

Today, I'm not going to talk about weddings! I'm actually going to talk about something much more important than weddings...the rest of your life!

It may seem like it will never get here, but before long you’ll be coming back from your honeymoon ready to get on with your life. You’ll be settling in with your new husband, getting used to each others quirks and paying all the bills from your wedding. Then life will throw a few curve balls at you, stress levels will rise and you will look at your spouse one day and those cute little quirks aren’t so cute anymore! You’ll probably begin to argue about things that weren’t a problem while you were dating. You might even wonder, “why did we get married?” Yes, it’s true! It happens to the best of us! And, I believe to a certain extent, it’s normal. So, how do you avoid this inevitable sequence of events? I recommend you start preparing now!

Here’s how to prepare!

1. Face it – Know that things aren’t always going to be “perfect.” Talk it over with your fiancé. Make sure that you’re both of the realization that life isn’t a fairy tale and that you will be faced with stress and challenges. This you can not control. What you can control is how you respond to those stressors and challenges.

2. Learn how to fill your partner’s “love tank” - What the heck is that? Everyone has a “love tank.” When our love tank is full we feel loved, confident, and sure about our mate. Every time your fiancé / husband hurts your feelings, argues with you about money, or whatever else you will argue about, your love tank empties out a little until the point when your love tank is empty, that’s when you ask yourself, “why did we get married?” The interesting thing about love tanks is what it takes to fill your love tank is probably not the same as what it takes to fill your fiancé’s! I’ve been reading a great book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate that explains how to find out what fills your love tank and what it takes to fill it! I recommend you check it out!

3. Keep each other’s tank full to weather the storms – While the sky is sunny and everyone is happy; don’t get lazy, work on filling each other’s tank. It might be easy to not give your husband a backrub after you worked all day, watch a football game with your husband and act interested, or do what ever makes him feel loved. (Remember this goes both ways too) But even though it takes some extra effort it will pay dividends when those storm clouds roll in! It is always better weathering a storm with the security of a full love tank!

As you know, nobody goes into a marriage thinking it isn’t going to work. So if you want some extra insurance for your relationship take time now to sit down with your fiancé and prepare for those storms! If you’re interested in finding out more about these “love languages” you can check out my blog today.

Rhonda

I'd like to thank Brymo for the picture!

6 comments:

Melissa DiStefano said...

Rhonda! Thanks for a great Guest Blogger Monday! I love your ideas and that book is a fantastic book! Thanks again! You ROCK!

Natalia B. said...

Rhonda-
Jose and I (the cookie people) read this book before getting married. We actually read A LOT, but this wa sone of the most memorable and quickest read of all. Our copy has helped two marriages already (one of which conceived shortly after getting over their differences a week after reading the book--no lie), and one single friend who felt this was truly enlightening simply to understand how to show affection to his girlfriend. It is not the answer to everything, but it sure sheds a lot of light on what makes your partner feel loved. It's a must-read!

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